Nellie’s blog

Guilt. It keeps me from signing on and writing, from taking an hour or two to get a massage or a pedicure, from leaving at night to go stitch and bitch, or even from putting my foot down and making dad and son go out by themselves. I wonder if it will change when I have two. I want to go do something without carrying a bag of tricks to keep a toddler occupied -or do something just without speaking (or listening). I just feel guilty.

I should do something, but what? The move is quickly approaching, hubs comes home and has maybe two hours with his little boy and then has to get back to thesis work. So, I feel bad and stay home.

The rat race. I just can't seem to be uber motivated to be supermom these days. Not that I ever was. We're moving in two months. To Do lists need to be created, boxes need to be checked off (*note to self* actual boxes need to be bought), OB/GYN needs to be found, Tri-Care needs to be called. Ack...

I just really wish I could keep the house shining, dinner on the table and have a pleasant toddler (and mom)  for my hubs to come home to. Yeah fucking right. I'm so damn tired. I went to the gym yesterday and kicked my own ass. Felt good though. I love the laughs preggos get while running. So classic. Like "hey you're going to kill your baby." Then, today I took Superman to the pool. He really thought he could swim. Went crazy, the kid. So, I'm pooped.

I still need to finish the newborn hat for my sister so I can move on the bigger and better things with that super soft yarn.

Flylady really needs some more movitational sections about "flying" while pregnant and running after a toddler. I just wish it was perfect. It will never be so I should get over that. Really, all I care about is shoving tons of fruits and veggies in to Buddy every day and I've been slacking.